Having a Laugh

With the comedy festival currently spreading it’s diverse range of performers around the country, I thought a comedy-themed blog would be quite topical. Naturally this would also need to have a hotel theme, so I’m pleased to present the best (or is that least worst?) of the hotel jokes the internet has to offer. Hope one of them tickles your funny bone.

1) A farmer, who went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.

"Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.

"Look here," inquired the farmer in surprise, "when am I going to get time to see the city?"

2) A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time. The father and son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator. "What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cane, waits for the doors to open and gets in. The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.

They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde. The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw!"

3) A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

4) At 3am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a slightly tiddly man asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon”, answers the clerk.

About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even more intoxicated. “What time does the bar open?” he asks.

“Same time as before – noon,” replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, by now completely drunk. “Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?”

The clerk then answers, “It opens at noon, but if you can’t wait I can have room service send something up to you.”

“No! I don’t wanna get in, I wanna get out!”

Michael Hartland
Marketing Executive
15 May 2008